Coming Out of the Basement

While waiting for reports to run, I stumbled on the list of Travis County court dates scheduled over the last interval of time (whatever that may be). And apparently, I enjoy reading them. 

If you’re curious my search path, I was looking to see if Brooks Mitchell wrote for any websites besides the one I read him on, because I don’t much like the rest of the content on that site.  If you don’t know who Brooks Mitchell is (and I don’t expect anyone does), check out Snowfly.com – he’s pretty interesting.  In any case, I searched for “Brooks Mitchell” Call Center.  And apparently that got me to the PDF for Travis County Justice Center.  Which I had to open, being morbidly curious.And there was some really amusing stuff in there.  I think I enjoy it because I build the story in my head, based on the list of charges.  There’s a lot of bad stuff – assaults, family violence, drugs, etc.  Some of them are clearly car accidents and the like, and that’s bad.  Those I kinda skip over,  and find the nice chains.  Also, there are some awesome names.  Also I learned that apparently assault by strangulation has a specific charge – there’s assault, assault with intent to harm, and then  Assault with intent/reck (presumably reckless disregard?) impede breath/circulation.  Seems highly specific…..

Forgery of a Financial Instrument. x5  Credit Card Abuse.  Theft $100k-$200k.  Theft $1.5k-$20kx23.  Attempt to obtain prescprition drugs fraudulently.  Possession of a Controlled Substance PG1 <1g. 

Presumably PG1 relates to the type of drug.  I like to imagine it’s vicodin.  So here’s this nice lady, just trying to get by.  She’s got a few (okay, 5) fake credit cards, and she’s really stressed about it cause the balances are really high now.  She’s made about $300k, but she needs to get her new supply of meds, and she can’t convince the pharmacist that the prescription is real.  He finally calls the cops, and they show up, and bust her.  Awwww.

Theft 100k-200k, Falsely Holding oneself out as a lawyer.

“No, no, I am a lawyer.  I’ll just need my fee up front – $100k, and I’ll make sure all your problems go away.”  Cut to courtroom.  “My license?  Um, I don’t really…you see…it’s…” *clang*.  I like to picture this guy like Jeff Winger from Community.

Riot participation, 2x Organized Criminal Activity. 

There were at least two of those on the same page.  “Let’s start a riot!”  “Yeah!  Awesome!” 

A**** B**** C*** BURGLARY OF HABITATION
A**** B**** C*** BURGLARY OF HABITATION
A**** B**** C*** BURGLARY OF HABITATION
A**** B**** C*** BURGLARY OF HABITATION
A**** B**** C*** PROHIBITED WEAPON
A**** B**** C*** UNL POSS FIREARM BY FELON
A**** B**** C*** ENGAGE IN ORGANIZED CRIMINAL ACTIVITY
A**** B**** C*** ARSON
A**** B**** C*** THEFT >=$20K<$100K
A**** B**** C*** FAIL TO IDENTIFY FUGITIVE INTENT GIVE FALSE INFO 

Dude has three first names, which sets you up for failure.  But MAN, that’s like a modern Shadowrun game.  “I didn’t want to get the license, so I just upped the TN by one, and got it.”  “We need cash.  Let’s go knock over some houses.”  “BUGGER!  The fuzz!” “Set the house on fire!  Then run!”  “Aw, man, they caught me.  Is the ST gonna use my fake SIN against me?  Yeah, he is.  Man!” 

Burglary of a Habitation.  Burglary of a Habitation.   Attempted Burglary of a Habitation.

Had to go for just one more, didn’t you?

That guy’s name is Clarence.  I’m gonna guess he’s a white collar crime type of guy. 

Dude named Marco arreseted for laundering 3k-20k in cash.  And another guy named Salvatore (either his middle name is IX, or he’s the 9th guy with his name, it’s not clear) was arrested for carrying a switchblade or brass knuckles.  Another guy named Stevo for: 

GAMBLING PROMOTION
KEEPING A GAMBLING PLACE

Apparently he was driving a mobile home full of slot machines, while drunk? 

Reading the list, it certianly looks like there’s a mob presence in Austin, going by the names and the crimes…. 

Also, the sheer number of DWI arrests makes me wonder why I ever got on the highway.  I particularly like when they’re combined with Assault on an Official and Obstructing Highway Passageway.  

Disclaimer: None of these people were convincted of anything, based on the document I was reading.  It’s all just setting court dates for the alleged offenses.  Innocent until proven guilty.  IANAL.